Today In Politics: May 21st, 2009

This morning! It’s a battle of champions! A war between titans! Darth Vader takes on Superman! Today in the ring, the ultimate battle for the heart of American, it’s Cheney vs Obama! Almost directly, this time!

But first, some other, what’s it called, news…

Yesterday the RNC finally got the memo that you can not in fact change the name of your opponents team just because you want to. Instead of changing the Democrats name to the Democratic-Socialist Party (which is a different thing altogether- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Socialist_Party ), they decided to pass a resolution claiming that Democrats are “dedicated to restructuring American society along socialist ideals.” I’d go into one of my traditional what’s-wrong-with-socialism conversations except that the resolution makes no actual sense. Inaccurate statements aside, after the resolution passed, Michael Steele did his traditionally brilliant job of putting his foot in his mouth by releasing this statement:

“The Republican Party strongly believes that a government which spends without restraint, incurs record amounts of debt, owns banks and makes cars is not the right kind of 'change' America needs.”

So, Detroit aside, is Steele trying to bash Obama or Dubya?

Speaking of non-existent socialism, you know how Texas is talking about seceding from the US because Obama hates the state governments and wants Washington to rule everything? Well, that arguments going to hold even less water than it already did, because yesterday a memo was sent out from the White House to every federal agency stressing the importance of state laws, even when they sometimes conflict with federal ones. A similar statement has been sent out by every president since the 80s except for, interestingly enough, Bush-43. Wasn’t he from Texas or something?

Not nearly enough people have been paying attention to Senator John Ensign’s comments defending Guantanamo Bay. I’m sure he thought it was a good idea at the time, when he said of the facility: "They get better health care than the average American citizen does." It probably looked good on paper, but I doubt his raw honesty sends the message he really intended it to. Why aren’t more people talking about this? We’ve kept these people without trial or jury, and yet their health care is still better than your standard American citizen’s? Where’s the public outrage over this?

But enough of the preshow! Bring on the big bads! Let’s get it on!

In the left corner, weighing in at a lean and muscular 170 pounds and invulnerable to everything except delayed cabinet postings and kryptonite- President Barack Obama! In the right corner, weighing in at a somewhat less lean 320 pounds and more machine now than man, Former Vice-President Dick Cheney! It’s back to back speeches time- bring it!

On Constitutional Values:

OBAMA: “I've studied the Constitution as a student, I've taught it as a teacher, I've been bound by it as a lawyer and a legislator. I took an oath to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution as Commander-in-Chief. And as a citizen, I know that we must never, ever, turn our back on its enduring principles for expedience sake. I make this claim not simply as a matter of idealism. We uphold our most cherished values not only because doing so is right, but because it strengthens our country and it keeps us safe. Time and again, our values have been our best national security asset -- in war and peace; in times of ease and in eras of upheaval.”

CHENEY: “Critics of our policies are given to lecturing on the theme of being consistent with American values. But no moral value held dear by the American people obliges public servants ever to sacrifice innocent lives to spare a captured terrorist from unpleasant things. And when an entire population is targeted by a terror network, nothing is more consistent with American values than to stop them.”

On Ethical Issues like Torture:

OBAMA: “After 9/11, we knew that we had entered a new era -- that enemies who did not abide by any law of war would present new challenges to our application of the law... Unfortunately, faced with an uncertain threat, our government made a series of hasty decisions. I believe that many of these decisions were motivated by a sincere desire to protect the American people. But I also believe that all too often our government made decisions based on fear rather than foresight.”

CHENEY: “I was and remain a strong proponent of our enhanced interrogation program. The interrogations were used on hardened terrorists after other efforts failed. They were legal, essential, justified, successful, and the right thing to do... [T]o call this a program of torture is to libel the dedicated professionals who have saved American lives, and to cast terrorists and murderers as innocent victims. What's more, to completely rule out enhanced interrogation methods in the future is unwise in the extreme. It is recklessness cloaked in righteousness, and would make the American people less safe.”

On Defense and Security:

OBAMA: “I ran for President promising transparency, and I meant what I said. And that's why, whenever possible, my administration will make all information available to the American people so that they can make informed judgments and hold us accountable. But I have never argued -- and I never will -- that our most sensitive national security matters should simply be an open book. I will never abandon -- and will vigorously defend -- the necessity of classification to defend our troops at war, to protect sources and methods, and to safeguard confidential actions that keep the American people safe. Here's the difference though: Whenever we cannot release certain information to the public for valid national security reasons, I will insist that there is oversight of my actions -- by Congress or by the courts.”

CHENEY: “But in the fight against terrorism, there is no middle ground, and half-measures keep you half exposed. You cannot keep just some nuclear-armed terrorists out of the United States, you must keep every nuclear-armed terrorist out of the United States. Triangulation is a political strategy, not a national security strategy. When just a single clue that goes unlearned … one lead that goes un-pursued … can bring on catastrophe - it's no time for splitting differences. There is never a good time to compromise when the lives and safety of the American people are in the balance. “

On Closing Guantanamo Bay:

OBAMA: “Now, as our efforts to close Guantanamo move forward, I know that the politics in Congress will be difficult. These are issues that are fodder for 30-second commercials. You can almost picture the direct mail pieces that emerge from any vote on this issue -- designed to frighten the population. I get it. But if we continue to make decisions within a climate of fear, we will make more mistakes. And if we refuse to deal with these issues today, then I guarantee you that they will be an albatross around our efforts to combat terrorism in the future.”

CHENEY: “The administration has found that it's easy to receive applause in Europe for closing Guantanamo. But it's tricky to come up with an alternative that will serve the interests of justice and America's national security. Keep in mind that these are hardened terrorists picked up overseas since 9/11. The ones that were considered low-risk were released a long time ago. And among these, we learned yesterday, many were treated too leniently, because 1 in 7 cut a straight path back to their prior line of work and have conducted murderous attacks in the Middle East. I think the President will find, upon reflection, that to bring the worst of the worst terrorists inside the United States would be cause for great danger and regret in the years to come.”

Personally, any time I here Dick Cheney say he’s watching out for me I feel like adding the word ‘out’ to the sentence is a learned action. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about which team you’d like governing us, but I for one think that the former VP’s mother picked the perfect name for him.